So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
