grandma shit on top of the toilet
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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