I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize