With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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