you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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