This is not my ceiling
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I need to align my fucking chakras
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
