Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm at about main and main street
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
