it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
