i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
