Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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