She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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