My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
