a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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