We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
