the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
we made out on top of his cat.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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