I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
