He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
