I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
