It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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