That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
