I cockslap morals
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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