All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
