I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
