Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
