i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
