Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
