why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize