My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
