Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
