Plan B is the new Plan A
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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