i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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