I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
