Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's rum buckets o'clock
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
