Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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