Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
