In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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