I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
