I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
