he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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