If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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