So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
