champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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