Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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