Don't you send me to vm
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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