Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize