Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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