We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
