My hand turned me down
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Who died my cat blue again?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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