I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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