I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
