He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
