Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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