i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
