he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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