There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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