Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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