Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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