Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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