So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
