Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
