it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
i've created a new STD.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize