no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
