I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
