I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
