He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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