Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
