How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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