Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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