how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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