i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
