do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
