5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
