Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
