woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
