THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
