i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize