Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
