watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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