what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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