I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
